Leadership isn’t just about business. It is about biology. Learn how mentorship, emotional maturity, and your “Tribe” actually change your nervous system and determine your healthspan.
By Dr. Graham Jenkins
Introduction: The Head-Scratching Nature of Humans
Human behaviour is fascinating. Sometimes it makes me scratch my head—especially when I look at how people lead.
Whether it is in the boardroom, on the sidelines of a hockey rink, or at the dinner table, leadership is everywhere. And frankly, we often get it wrong.
It is 2026. The world is moving faster than ever. We are inundated with data, “hacks,” and advice on how to be better bosses and better parents. But in my 30+ years of clinical practice and raising three (now grown) children, I have found that the most profound leadership lessons didn’t come from a business seminar or a textbook.
They came from the “School of Dad.”
You might be asking, “Dr. Jenkins, I thought this was a longevity blog? What does parenting or leadership have to do with living to 100?”
Everything.
You cannot separate your leadership style from your biology. The way you lead your family, your team, and your own life has a direct impact on your nervous system, your stress hormones, and ultimately, how fast you age.
If you are leading with anxiety, control, and isolation, you are shortening your telomeres (the caps on your DNA that dictate aging). If you are leading with purpose, connection, and wisdom, you are building a body that can last a century.
Here are 3 critical things I’ve learned from the “School of Dad” that will help you lead better, love better, and live longer.
Critical Thing 1: You Can Succeed Even If You Don’t Have a Clue (Just Pick the Right Guide)
My kids are all grown up now, and they turned out really cool. They are resilient, kind, and forging their own paths.
But looking back, I can say with certainty: My wife and I often didn’t have a clue.
Some days we were too hard on them. Other days we just looked at each other in disbelief, wondering if we were messing it all up. Our default setting was just to listen, treat them with respect, and take life as it happened.
I remember reading a book by Danny Silk called Loving Our Kids on Purpose. He said something that stuck with me forever:
“If my kid comes home with green hair, my wife and I look at the big picture. Green hair is really no big deal compared to the far bigger issues teenagers face.” [1]
I never forgot that. We didn’t have green hair in our house, but I learned to look at the context. I learned that my anxiety about the small stuff was actually pushing my kids away, rather than drawing them close.
The Longevity Lesson: The Power of “Elders”
In our 100+ Living Plan, we talk a lot about the Attitude tenet. Part of a longevity mindset is acknowledging that you do not have to reinvent the wheel.
My life is not an experiment. Neither is yours. We only get one shot at this body and this life. I am not going to waste my time on unproven theories.
In the Blue Zones—those regions like Okinawa and Sardinia where people live longest—elders are not cast aside; they are revered. Younger generations look to them for wisdom. They don’t try to figure out life alone; they lean on the experience of those who have walked the path before them.
As a dad, I listened to people who had already raised great kids. I didn’t listen to the new parent who had read one book. I listened to the veteran who had the scars and the success stories.
As a doctor, I listen to the researchers and the clinicians who have a track record of real results, not just a viral TikTok video.
Action Step for 2026:
Stop guessing. Stop trying to “hack” your way through life with unproven theories.
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In Business: Find a mentor who has survived a recession and built a legacy.
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In Health: Don’t just follow the latest diet fad. Follow a system (like 100+ Living) that is based on physiology and evidence.
“My life is not an experiment. I have one shot to do things right. I only listen to veterans.”
Critical Thing 2: Protect the Nervous System (Match Responsibility to Maturity)
My daughter used to be a ski racer. If you know anything about that sport, you know it takes guts to throw yourself down an ice-covered mountain at 60 miles per hour.
She had the physical skill. She was fast. She was fearless.
But years ago, I realized something important: Her physical talent was ahead of her emotional maturity.
At her age, her coaches expected the athletes to tune their own skis every night. She knew how to do it. She had the physical dexterity. But the pressure was too much. If she messed up the tuning—if the edges weren’t sharp enough—she could blow out of the race course and get hurt.
The weight of that responsibility was causing her anxiety. It was taking her focus away from the race.
So, I made a conscious choice. I tuned her race skis for her.
I wasn’t being a control freak. I wasn’t “helicopter parenting.” I was managing the load. I took the pressure of the equipment off her shoulders so she could handle the pressure of the race.
I told her, “You focus on ripping the course. I’ll handle the edges.”
The Science: Allostatic Load and Your Biology
In medicine, we have a term for the wear and tear on the body caused by chronic stress: Allostatic Load. [2]
When you are under stress, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline. This is your “fight or flight” response. It is designed to save your life in short bursts.
But when you carry a burden that is too heavy for you—whether it is a child worried about their ski edges or an employee worried about a project they aren’t ready for—that stress becomes chronic.
High Allostatic Load leads to:
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High blood pressure.
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Systemic inflammation.
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Accelerated brain aging.
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Immune system suppression.
In our Neurology tenet, we emphasize that safety is the foundation of health. If your nervous system does not feel safe, it cannot heal.
The Leadership Application
Whether you are leading a team at work or raising a family, you have to protect people from burnout.
You might have a team member who is brilliant at their job (high skill), but if they aren’t emotionally ready for the pressure of management (low emotional maturity), promoting them is not a reward. It is a punishment.
You are placing them in a state of high Allostatic Load. You are triggering their fight-or-flight response every single day. This will eventually lead to them quitting, getting sick, or failing.
True leadership is knowing when to tune the skis.
It is knowing when to say, “I will carry this responsibility for you for a little while longer, so you can focus on winning where you are.”
“Don’t deny people the opportunity to grow, but don’t crush them with weight they aren’t strong enough to carry yet. Protect their nervous system so they can perform.”
Critical Thing 3: Curate Your “Tribe” (Not All Hockey Parents Are Crazy)
I am Canadian, so I have spent a significant portion of my life in hockey rinks. (If you are reading this in Brazil or California, just substitute “Soccer Parent” or “Dance Mom”).
When people find out I was a hockey dad, they always want to tell me horror stories. They tell me about the “Crazy Dads” screaming at the referee, or the parents getting into fistfights in the stands.
But here is the truth that nobody talks about: They never tell me about the great families.
I have met some of the kindest, most generous, most supportive people in cold hockey rinks at 6:00 AM. I have met lifelong friends. I have seen communities rally around a sick child. I have seen incredible generosity.
The “crazies” make up about 1% of the crowd. The other 99% are incredible humans just trying to support their kids.
The Science: Social Contagion Theory
Why do we focus on the negative 1%? It is human nature. Our brains are wired to look for threats.
But in 2026, we know that who you spend time with changes your biology.
Researchers Christakis and Fowler became famous for their work on Social Contagion Theory using data from the Framingham Heart Study. [3] They found that behaviors and states of being are contagious up to three degrees of separation.
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Obesity is contagious: If your friend becomes obese, your risk increases by 57%.
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Smoking is contagious.
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Divorce is contagious.
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Happiness is contagious.
If you spend your time at the rink (or the office) focusing on the 1% of toxic people, you are inviting that toxicity into your nervous system. You become cynical. Your cortisol rises.
But if you actively seek out the 99%—the Right Tribe—you catch their health.
The Blue Zone Connection
This is exactly what we see in the Blue Zones. In Okinawa, they form “Moais”—groups of 5 friends who commit to each other for life. They support each other financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
In our 100+ Living Plan, the Relationship tenet is non-negotiable.
Loneliness is as dangerous to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. [4] But it isn’t just about being around people; it’s about being around the right people.
Action Step for 2026:
Be ruthless about your environment.
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Stop gossiping about the “crazy hockey dad.” Ignore him.
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Find the parents who are smiling. Find the colleagues who are solution-oriented.
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Build a “Moai” of people who want to live to 100.
When you surround yourself with people who value health, purpose, and kindness, it becomes easier for you to do the same. You don’t have to use willpower; you just go with the flow of your Tribe.
“99% of people are incredible. Don’t focus on the 1%. Who you spend time with predicts your health.”
Conclusion: Lead Like You Want to Live Forever
Leadership is not just about getting people to do what you want. It is about creating an environment where life can flourish.
When you strip away the titles and the business jargon, leadership is really about Love and Biology.
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Love means being humble enough to seek a guide (Critical Thing 1).
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Love means protecting the people you lead from stress they can’t handle yet (Critical Thing 2).
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Love means choosing to see the good in people and building a community around that good (Critical Thing 3).
At the 100+ Living Health Centre, we want you to be a leader. We want you to lead your family into a future of health. We want you to lead your community by example.
If you can master these three lessons, you won’t just be a better parent or boss. You will be building a nervous system that is resilient, a heart that is full, and a life that is long.
Let’s make 2026 the year we lead with intention.
References:
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Silk, Danny. Loving Our Kids on Purpose: Making a Heart-to-Heart Connection. Destiny Image Publishers, 2008.
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McEwen, B. S., & Stellar, E. (1993). Stress and the individual: mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of Internal Medicine, 153(18), 2093–2101. (Discussing the concept of Allostatic Load).
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Christakis, N. A., & Fowler, J. H. (2007). The spread of obesity in a large social network over 32 years. The New England Journal of Medicine, 357(4), 370–379.
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Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.
Dr. Graham Jenkins is a chiropractor, longevity strategist, and founder of the 100+ Living Health Centres in Kelowna, BC. He is the author of the 100+ Living book series and is dedicated to helping patients correct their posture, restore their function, and design a life of purpose.
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